A Dog’s View

What do our dogs think, as we go through our daily routines and family growth and contractions and changes?  I wonder it often,  as Zoe follows me around the house, wanting to go on every car ride, every walk, giving loving kisses when her family is sad.  And Annie, as she ages (17 in two months!) does she still want to be here, with her creaking bones and slips on the stairs, but always the most gentle of creatures I know?

Zoe and fave toy

 

Annie and the snow

I just read an interesting novel called The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein,  the entire story told from the dog’s point of view.  Do they really have human thoughts as they watch TV with us, go on our physical and spiritual journeys, become part of our worlds as we age together?

The story itself is hopeful, heartbreaking, and honest.  No spoilers here, you will have to indulge yourself in the story. It will be worth the journey. Can a dog tell a story that isn’t true, without embellishments?  I doubt it.  I have no interest in auto racing, but I found the parallels in the driver stories and life to be fitting, and they kept my interest throughout. 

Some of the quotes made me think about my life, and how I need to step up to more challenges:

“There is no dishoner in losing the race,” Don said. “There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose.”

Wow–how many times do we NOT take the chance because we are afraid to lose? Or become complacent in what we know.  We can only grow and learn and experience by trying.

And from Enzo, the dog,

“Inside each of us resides the truth,” I began, “the absolute truth.  But sometimes we believe we are viewing the real thing, when in fact we are viewing a facsimile, a distortion….”

The post dedicated to my friend Kerry and her Lab friend Gracie, who just left us.

C

 

S-S-s-s-s-atisfying Read

I am amazed that the novel I finished this morning is a debut book.  It is richly worded, tightly drawn, with strong, varied characters and locations I could visualize, about an era, time and place very distant from my existence.  This must-read book is Serpent Box, by Vincent Louis Carrella. 

Serpent Box takes place in the deep south, late 1930’s, in the land of wandering preachers who drink lye and handle snakes to prove the Holy Spirit is with them.  The loving, roving family in this book truly came to life, with young Jacob Flint-the boy born inside the lynching tree–following in his father’s footsteps of becoming a snake handler preacher, feeling both the love and unending-pressure of the Holy Spirit with his every breath.

As they continue on their physical and spiritual journey to build their church, the road is difficult and filled with extremely unexpected twists.  I knew nothing about hidden-from-roadside, snake-handling, poison-drinking, speaking-in-tongues churches until I read this book, and their fervent beliefs. 

This book covers a huge range of emotions, from hate to despair to love to hope to fear to the thought that… ”He [Hosea] promised himself that he would live every single day , not as if it were his last but as if it were his first.”

Serpent Box is a fascinating read. Then learning about Carella’s life and almost random inspiration for the book (photos of Appalachian life including snake handlers) and his jouney to develop the storyline and characters brought it full-circle (symbolism he would appreciate I think).   Just don’t carry it too deep in the words with you, especially with your jar of lye and Bible.  C

 

Under Pressure–Parents and Children Today

Carl Honoré’s new book Under Pressure should be required reading for all new parents. It is full of practical, real world advice for parents today trying to maneuver through political, competitive, consumer-oriented terrain with differing advice from a variety of “professionals” with questionable backgrounds to be dispensing nuggets to bewildered and sometimes overwhelmed parents.

A parent himself, Honoré has dealt with many the issues he discusses, but he brings true examples from around the globe to state his case about how easing off can postively impact our families. He also looks at an enormous amount of research in parenting, childrearing, sports, education, competition, and a variety of other areas.  The subtitle of his book Rescuing our Children from the Culture of Hyperparenting brings a similar Slowing down focus as his previous book In Praise of Slowness (see 23 June 08 blog post for more on this book).

Each chapter tackles a different subject facing families today: early years, toys, technology, education, extracurricular activities, sports, discipline, consumerism, and safety. It seemed such a natural flow from one chapter leading to the next.   I was also fascinated  with  the amount of history he brought to life, discussing the evolution of his subjects from homework to health and sports. 

Under Pressure is not anti-parenting or anti-technology or anti-education, it simply gives a fresh look at many of the issues I face on a regular basis.  I was surprised how different some cultures (US to Japan to Korea to Finland) view education, competition, and extra-curricular activites but how similar families worldwide are trying to change child-rearing practices and parental involvement today.

I found most of the information in the book common sense, rather than earth shattering, but I see nothing wrong with looking at things from a fresh perspective.   I am glad that Honoré didn’t try to set out a model for us to follow, as we all have different family dynamics, finances, belief systems and educational issues, but laid things out for us to make the right decisions for our families. 

I agree with the what I think is main tenet of the book–for our children to succeed, we need to let them be children longer, let them develop and explore their passions by giving them freedom to play, and to let them make some mistakes along the way. Hopefully this will allow them to grow into creative-thinking, happy, adjusted adults with a variety of interests. 

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it?  And summer seems like the perfect time to let them PLAY. C

Comments from the author Carl Honoré, from his blog 13 July 08

Thanks for your very generous words, Cindy. It’s interesting that you mention the title. To be honest, I’ve never liked it – it was the publishers who made me do it! I feel the title is too negative, when the book is actually meant to be upbeat and hopeful, to make everyone feel less anxious and clenched about children. I especially dislike the sub-title because it uses the phrase “hyper-parenting.” To me, it sounds like the book is demonizing parents when the opposite is true. Childhood is the way it is today because our whole culture has shifted, and often parents just get swept along in the flow. Schools, advertisers, politicians, bureaucrats, doctors, sports coaches – so many other people beyond parents have a hand in shaping our children’s lives. Anyway, that’s my little rant for the day…Maybe the sub-title will get changed in the paperback edition…

 

Slowing Down

So many of us move at breakneck pace through life, trying to cram in so much we can’t absorb the smell of lilac or gentle touch of a child or our lover in our frenetic paces. Many of my friends are consciously trying to Slow down,  teaching our families to move slower in the languid summer months to recooperate from the stress-filled school year.  Hopefully some Slow living can still exist into the fall.

Carl Honoré’s book In Praise of Slowness, now four years old, made me think about my life as I read though it. Honore was one of the more entertaining speakers we saw at the Printer’s Row Book Fair earlier this month, (6/8/08 posting), so I read his first book waiting for my local library to have a copy of his new book  Under Pressure available.

Broken into succinct chapters, In Praise of Slowness talks about bringing Slowness into different areas of our lives: cities, education, food, mind/body, work, sex, leisure, and children.  He uses research and stories about how people were able to improve their lives by Slowing down–while not eschewing the technologies that we daily use. 

We already try to incorporate some of his ideas into our daily lives;  one of the most together and focused times we have are the days we can have a family-meal.  We try to do this 4-5 nights at week, and it’s when we talk about our day and discuss the next day’s plans/schedules. It’s much easier during the summer months to do this.

A well-thought out approach to slowing-down many aspects of our lives, he brings anecdotes from people and organizations worldwide to show how speed is impacting all of us.  If we can teach ourselves to Slow down in one area, that Slowness might  flow into other areas of our lives. I personally do not want to Slow down as much as some people in his book, but I have become more aware of my driving speed, our eating habits, and my children’s actitives since reading his book.

I want to ask Honoré if he rides horses.  It’s the natural instinct when approaching a jump in a course to speed up, lean forward, and charge at it, which will only help launch us over the horse’s head.  My trainer has said on number of occasions:  “Wait for it. Wait for it” even while picking up a little pace and “Don’t jump ahead of the horse” as I approach the jump.   My nerves settle and the jump is smooth and comfortable, not hurried and sloppy, so I can concentrate and ride to the next jump.

Whether there truly is a global “movement” to Slow down–though there are certainly organizations that espouse Slowing down– I can’t answer, but I hope to infuse a little Slowness in my family’s existence this summer.  In between work and chauffering and meal preparation and spending time with my kids and reading my book and exercise and writing and taking photos,  I think I can squeeze Slowness in.  (ha) C

6/24: In response to my blog, Carl Honoré had this to say in an email about his link to horses:

Love(d) you blog. I used to ride a bit when I was a child and I remember that feeling of having to slow down to the horse’s rhythm, or at least not try to force it. T(ha)t is one of the nice things about animals – they know their tempo giusto and they’re sticking to it.

 

Not wanting a geisha life

A bit behind the times, I just finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, which has been languishing on my bookshelf.  It was a fascinating fable of the Japanense culture in the early 1900’s.  The first 100 pages were difficult to read; people were so brutal to each other culturally and to survive.  I thought of my daughters, so close in age to these girls sold from their families, and cannot fathom having to do that.

I heard many times that readers could not believe that a man wrote the book, it so accurately depicted the female thoughts.  I agree with that sentiment, except for one part-where Sayuri loses her virginity.  Those paragraph seemed unreal, but  I won’t quibble about one small section. Another part I found tiresome was the hatred Hatsumomo had for Sayuri.  Enough, all ready.  The link to the title has some interesting follow up to the books, including some inaccuracies–but remember, this is a FICTION book.

Just a couple quotes from the book that I took away to remember:

“How curious it is, what the future brings us. You must take care, Sayuri, never to expect too much.” Mameha, at the end of the book (p. 422).

And the Chairman to Sayuri, in his old age: ” ‘Sometimes,’ he sighed ‘ I think the things I remember are more real than the things I see.’”(p. 427)

We should all be so lucky to meet up with the love of our life.  The divorce rate in this country shows that true love is hard to come by.  I am anxious to now watch the critically-acclaimed film of the story. C

 

Writing Inspirations

Had a fabulous time at the Printer’s Row Book Fair in Chicago yesterday! There were many types of people  buying books and memorabelia and food and listening to authors speak.  My friend Theresa and I bought several books all signed by the authors, which my kids think are totally cool.

It was so inspiring for we aspiring writers to see so many authors taking with their customers and listen to them speak individually or in panel discussions .

Hopefully we will both try to write more.  As a bonus, I have a whole new list of books to read.

Here is a sampling of thoughts from several authors:

“Fiction tells truth of the heart that non-fiction histories cannot tell.”  Nancy Horan, author of Loving Frank.

Nancy Horan again, talking about how she writes historical fiction:”You go respectfully into the past and try to walk empathetically in their shoes.”

She also said to get the voice of the times she is writing in she reads newspapers from the period, books, letters, and tries to remove all of today’s sayings from her writings.  I loved hearing her talk about the immense amount of research she did for her book, the unexpected journeys those searches took her on, along with the people she met who helped bring her story alive.

Finally, a thought from first-time author John Otterbacher, about why he writes:  “I have always had an eye for the horizon.  I’ve always been curious.”

Take their inspiring words and pick up your pen or your computer, and let the writing begin.  Just know that Otterbacher said he wrote 8 drafts of his book Sailing Grace, and Nancy Horan threw out her first draft of Loving Frank and started from scratch.  Daunting thoughts! C

 

 

Guitar Genius

I didn’t own any Eric Clapton music-until now.  While I enjoyed Clapton’s music, I didn’t truly appreciate his impact on music and others’ influence on him–until now.  I didn’t realize how  autobiographical his music was-until now.  I recently finished and absolutely absorbed his autobiography, Clapton. 

Eric Clapton succeeded in life because of this love of music, despite his lack of love for himself, abandonment by his mother, massive amounts of drugs and alcohol, and loss of a child.  He was in Chicago last summer rasing money for his rehab center in Antigua, Crossroads.  I wish it was this year, when I would understand this project better and encourage all my family and friends to attend. Creating this recovery center for addicts seemed to help Clapton take control of his own life, possibly for the first time.

He jumped from band to band early in his career, trying to find one to play the types of blues music he loved, yet had success with all his bands.  He crossed paths and worked with many of today’s biggest blues/rock/jazz artists, many when they were all reaching for success. He fought a solo career though he said “I knew I had it in me early, but I had stuffed it down to the point that I stopped believing in myself.”  (p. 120)- who hasn’t felt like that?

Until Clapton mentioned his diaries in the middle of the book, I wondered how he remembered dates/places/people in such detail, especially during his drug & alchohol hazed days. No matter what field you work it, it would be amazing to  collaborate with such a wide range of talented individuals on projects. 

His book Clapton is such a telling story about life and addiction, enabling,  the difficulties of overcoming fears, problems, devastation, and the choices we make in life. C

note: I also wrote about his autobiography in my blog on April 15,08.

 

Album Art- Which were your favorites?

Do you know the one of the first album covers that was truly designed by the band, and not their manager?  It was the Beatles very influential Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  This was one of the trivia nuggets I gleaned from a fun exhibit of LP Art–60 years in Album Art at our local museum, The Lake County Discovery Museum.

 

The exhibit showcased the evolution of album art, and its impact on musicians and popular culture. My husband and I were brought back, looking at some of the most popular album covers of our growing up. How many did we own?

There were many genres of music represented–rock, punk, pop, funk, jazz, fusion, with rock being the largest grouping.  There were also some interactive factoids you could read, a headset with music samples, and a fun A-Z game where you could try to choose which letter went with which music group (I did very poorly on this).

Coincidentally, I am reading the autobiography Clapton, by Eric Clapton.  I have always appreciated his guitar genius, and I wanted to learn more about his life.  While touring this exhibit, I was reading about the hippie, drug-using years of the late 1960’s, where he met, befriended and was inspired by artists such as the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, and  Jimi Hendrix  Clapton mentioned many of the albums that lined the museum walls, which included his former group Cream. 

An extra bonus at the Museum was an art exhibit by Jim Flora, an amazing graphic deisgner from the 1940’s and 50’s who designed classical and jazz album covers, wrote and illustrated children’s books, designed advertising pieces, and funky, creative pieces of art.  Any of them would fit in beautifully in my home!

Entertaining, reminiscent, and educating (and not too overwhelming). What more can you ask from a museum experience? C

 

Galloping Towards Your Dreams

I recently finished two very different books about setting goals and searching for your dreams.  The first was The Alchemist by Brazillian author Paulo Coelho, which has sold over 20 million copies.  This book is a fable about searching for your Personal Legend (always capitalized), and how we can get lost and then found along the way. And when we think we’re lost, it may simply be part of the journey.

I appreciated the simple writing style to tell this tale of Santiago, a shepherd who meets a king, a witch, a shop owner, an Englishman, and the alchemist on his expedition to discover his Personal Legend (PL) and love.  I agreed with some tenets of the book including:

• Encouraging our children to follow their dreams
• As adults, can we rediscover our passions? (more on this another day)
• We should trust the “omens”–and our instincts, they are interrelated, in front of us 
• The risks we take while searching for our PL will help us to grow
• There are reasons why some people purposely choose NOT to follow their true dreams

One clear mesage in the book is that “There is a language in the world that everyone understood…It was the language of enthusiasm, of things accomplished with love and purpose, and as part of a search for something believed in and desired.”

While I agree with his message we should try to  search out our dreams and passions, I found this book very preachy and repetitive.  There are nuggets of wisdom sprinkled in the book, but there is no subtlety about the importance of searching for the PL; it’s very much in-your-face, the words Personal Legend repeated throughout the story.  Yes, I know that the story is about this search, but don’t take the reader for someone who can’t remember it without writing out Personal Legend, Personal Legend, Personal Legend again and again.

I then read Shy Boy by Monty Roberts, who is a true horse whisperer, horse gentler, and now inspirational speaker .  At over 60 years old, Roberts man wants to follow his dream of catching on film how he “joins up” (his word) or gently breaks a wild mustang.  For centruries, horses have been cruelly broken, and he wants to demonstrate that this inhumanity isn’t needed, in his life goal to “leave the world a better place, for horses and people.”

The story is fascinating, as he talks about the joining up of Shy Boy in conjunction with other horses he has gentled and people who have inspired him, as he impacted thier lives during his speaking engagements and reading his autobiography, The Man Who Listens to Horses.

As he sets out to meet up with Shy Boy, he says “Still,  I felt relaxed and as ready as I would ever be.  If I failed to accomplish my dream, I thought to myself, it would not be because I hadn’t a chance at it.” Very similar message to The Alchemist.

The two books have many similarities–a hero  who has overcome a hard childhood, both are in continual search of their dreams, horses play a big part in their journeys, and they absorb all the beauty–and cruelty–that surrounds them. But I found Shy Boy more inspirational, perhaps because it  was true, I  enjoyed the wirting style more, and I didn’t feel the message was rammed down my throat.

And the photography that chronicles the story is amazing.  The photos are a similar style to what I like to shoot, and they are brilliant.  The photographer Christopher Dydyk only had one chance to capture the moments, and he did it throughout the book. Some of his work, including pictures of Shy Boy, can be found on his website.

It was fascinating to happen to read two books about following dreams back-to-back.  While written very differently, there were definitely similar themes throughout the books.  Perhaps reading these two books were “omens” that I should get on the path to search out my true Personal Legend.  Maybe this blog is the start of it. Only time will tell. C