Drive-in on UP

Do you have childhood memories of going to the drive-in in your pajamas, sprawled in the back of the station wagon or atop the car, straining to listen to the tinny sound of the voice box (seeing Peter Pan comes clearly to mind)?  Or high school memories of cramming a dozen people in a car, possibly a few in the trunk, hiding beers in coolers, to run around the parking lot, probably annoying many other viewers, barely watching the film?  

We went with three other families to the drive-in last weekend and saw the new Pixar film UP, a chilly but clear night, the drive-in filled with cars of families and teens and friends.  Not too much had changed at the drive-in, other than my perspective, perhaps. Our kids were comfy in their sweats, some did fall asleep in the back of the SUV’s, bowls of homemade popcorn in their laps, chilled wine and beer aplenty for the drivers,  the film enjoyable with the sound slightly better on the car radio. 

What a wholesome, family-filled way to spend time, talking with friends, kids playing baseball before darkness sets, anticipation of a great movie, a party like atmosphere wafting about all the cars.  Our kids enjoy the experience, we get to catch up with friends, and we can all see a film together. C

 

My Life as a Sitcom, Episode 1

If this were a sitcom, no one would believe this to be realistic. But we laughed so hard, I know it happened to me. All 16 of my immediate family members are on vacation in lovely Oceanside CA, for my mom’s 70th birthday.  Oceanside is a large surf town, about 38 miles of San Diego, the outdoors much more beckoning in winter than Chicago.

To remember the occasion, we decided to hire a professional photographer to freeze our families at this moment in our lives.  Now, I was not sure why we needed to do this, as we have a number of competent photographers in the family, and the several times we have done this before the photos have been forced and unrealistic depictions of us.  There is a reason why I have NEVER taken my children for formal portraits; I enjoy my candids so much more.

In hindsight though, this might have been a good idea (though I won’t confirm until I see the final work), since we have too many art directors, too many opinions.  Letting John the photographer be in charge let everyone relax.

Anyway, no one could have imagined all the bizarre happenings that occurred literally 20 minutes before he arrived, and as he scouted shooting locations.

First, a near meltdown as the tie on my daughter Devon’s shirt–a simple buttercup yellow ribbon, fell off and I had to re-sew it when I should have been in the shower. Seemingly simultaneously, a lens in Ronan’s eyeglass popped out, and Bob spent 15 minutes trying to repair it.  Two workmen showed up to fix the hottub and toilet as we were headed  out, and someone had to show them which rooms needed repaired.  Two of the older girls went for a last minute snack and spilled a huge bowl of cut watermelon from the fridge onto the floor.  As we were laughing but hurrying to clean up, my sister in law Karen announced her 10 year old son Jackson was throwing up!  How long did she have to get him to the beach?

A trooper, Jackson recovered long enough to be carried to the beach and force a smile for an hour. Now the shirt is pinned, the glasses repaired, the toilet flushing, and the watermelon disposed of.  Hopefully we will be rewarded with some excellent photos, to remember the funny day (Jackson may not want to remember).

  More on vacation later. C

 

Merry Christmas!

Our priest at mass last night emphatically declared that “We are a merry Christmas people,” to a smattering of applause from parishioners.  And I agree that we are a “merry Christmas” family–in beliefs and thoughts yes, but in spirit as well.

We spent Christmas Eve day in a snowstorm morning, running errands and preparing for our Christmas day.  This is the first year we have ever had a party of five, no family here-no friends-still in pajamas for the evening film of Indiana Jones #4, opened this morning. It was a strange beginning  for us once the gifts were open,  but I eventually realized it has been nearly never since we all sat at home all day, no where to run to, no sports, no chores.  And we loved doing our thing–putting together legos (only 1000 pieces for the 8 year old), setting up the ipod, playing Pictionary/Connect Four/Scrabble and watching films.  An unspoken,  unwrapped gift for us all.

During this holiday season, may you and your family enjoy a quiet family moment, appreciate the beauty around you–be it falling snow or rain or sun–, hug your pet, share with those not as fortunate, explore somewhere new in your town and love most moments with your extended family.

A toast of excellent St. Francis Zin to you, and the merriest of Christmas (or holiday season)  to all my friends and family.  I have thought of many of you today.  Enjoy this needed break for all.  C

 

A Wonderful Cliche

Thanksgiving is such a relaxing holiday to enjoy once all the shopping, cooking, and travelling is complete. There are no expectations of gifts or glory, just a time to spend with family, friends, watching or playing football, eating, drinking wine, catching up on days gone by, more eating, and walking some of that extra food off.

Even as the world around us is full of dire news about the economy and our country, there are so many things I am thankful for this year: my three incredible children, a husband who supports all the many tasks and jobs and ideas that fill and escape my brain, a family that stretches from New Jersey to Oregon who will jump to help when we are in need, fun-trusting-caring-sometimes wild friends from New York to California to fill my home and in-box and mailbox with hope and (sometimes) tears and are willing to join us on this journey of life, steady jobs, hobbies that fill my free time and give me opportunities to expand my soul, all the volunteer work done this year, no more children in car seats and diapers on six hour drives to Michigan, dogs to hug and horses to let me feel free, a sun that breaks through winter grayness, an unexpected phone call, a Caribbean cruise, a stolen moment to write, a photography class.

And Thanksgiving brings me hope for renewal, for a better world, that we may find peace in 2009, that we may breathe and loosen our wallets as the economy improves, that the press will BE QUIET, that our soldiers might come home, that the Christmas season can continue a feeling of sharing and giving and hope.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my family, my friends, my colleagues, my neighbors, my readers. May you find your stolen moment of quiet this weekend to do what you most love. C

 

“I will never….”

Ah, the self righteousness of the inexperienced and the innocents.  From the mouths of blatherers both well-intended and inspired and in the unspoken words but obvious body gestures come the thoughts of those who have yet-to-experience certain phases of life.  Parenthood, I’m thinking about specifically, right now.

We all know them, and we have been them ourselves, whether we admit it or shake our heads no.  My friends and I sometimes joke now about never saying “I will never…” since it might come to pass that “I will… ” in fact do what I pinky swore not to do.

There are the things people say before having children like “I will never take drugs during childbirth-give my baby formula-lose my temper with my child-use disposable diapers-let my child run my life-stop staying out until 3 am (well, that one might be true…)-put my child in daycare-be a stay at home mom-work outside the home”.

When you hold that tiny infant, hope to protect it from all the evils and bad influences that surround him or her, you don’t remember all those “I will nevers” as you manage to get through each day, perhaps adding another child or puppy or lizard to this mix.  Watching friends and strangers in the world, thoughts then become “I will never buy my boy a toy gun (but then realize that boys turn ANYTHING into a weapon)-let my child get really hurt in the playground-use the TV as a baby-sitter-let my child have a sleepover until he/she is 10-feed my kid chicken nuggets and other beige food several times a week-let my child wear designer clothes-walk to the bus themselves.”

The list gets longer as the children get older.  “I will never let my son play tackle football-spend a fortune in time and money on travel sports-be as involved in their school as my mom was-let them be too busy-nag them-when they are teenagers, let them go to the mall/amusement park/Chicago/movies with no adults-ride a car with a 16 year old driver-ride their bikes on sidewalkless busy roads-yell at my child-worry enough to check their text messages.”

How many of your “I nevers” have you done?  In hindsight, I will try to abstain from the “I nevers” since life is so unpredictable. The list I would have for when my eldest turns 16 would be sickeningly long.  I do know that I will never knowingly let my kids host a party that involves alcohol while they are underage, and after seeing my neighbor’s daughter go out recently I will never let my daughters go out in THAT dress. 

And I hope I will never have a blue grey curly perm when I am in my 70’s.  But no promises. C

 

Labor Day Festivities

Watching the news footage of hurricane Gustav as it battered New Orleans this weekend, I cannot help thinking about the phenomenal weekend weather we had in Chicago.  Nearing drought levels, we could use some of the rain that battered our spring, but let’s wait until the week.  Like the frenzied autumn bees, we spent as much time as possible outside, knowing that winter will quickly be here.

How many activities can one family cram in over a 3 day weekend?  Let me list a few:

1. 6 soccer games.  Does that count as one or six?

2. The first 8-year-old tackle football game–way more fun than I expected.

3. A pool party and an afternoon on our lake.

4. One dinner and movie date with my husband.

5. Spontaneous evening out with our kids and 2 families to see Squeeze at Ravinia on another stellar night.  And a better show that UB40 two weeks earlier; they sounded familiar, upbeat, with a couple new songs thrown in the mix.

6. A 9-mile bike ride in a Deer Grove Forest Preserve in Palatine.  We had never been there, but there was a varying terrain not to be found along the river.  Print your maps before you go, wear a helmet, and know that there are loose gravel spots along the path.  But a fun ride!  Next time we’ll hit the mountain bike path.  (in IL?)

7. A short stint deadheading and watering in the garden.

8.  Friday’s beginning which I already wrote about of volunteering at hippotherapy all morning and horseback riding in the afternoon.

Whew!  It was busy, but it was relaxing and many things were spur-of-the moment and plain out fun with great friends, a variety of locations.  Now, back to work and school functions.  C

 

Relish Your Ink-Free Days

The clock is now running at high speed, hands spinning faster and faster as we hurtle towards the start of school, trying to absorb the ending summer days while working and shopping for school supplies and marking schedules on the calendar and starting practices and buying clothes and STOP! 

Lean back slowly, close your eyes, take a deep breath through your nose while counting one-two-three, exhale through your mouth, and suddenly the clock decelerates to normal speed, frantic thoughts flow in a straight line and some of the extra mental weight simply vanishes.  As we parents consciously strive to Slow the pace down, our children can hopefully follow our paths, frenetic movements disappearing into the haze.

It is not easy in today’s environment to Slow down, take a breath, when everywhere we see HURRY!  NOW!  GO! The thought of falling behind the group is terrifying at first, then acceptable, as we realize that we don’t need to fall out with our friends simply because we say NO sometimes to one more outing or one more label or one more activity.

I have spent this summer physically and mentally trying to Slow down our family, and it is not easy.  But it’s working, and we all seem happier, more relaxed. (see 23 June post for more information on Slowing down)   Two weekends ago, with my daughters just back from camp, we were swimming in our nearby lake, lounging on our huge blow-up raft nicknamed The Island of Doom- the best $60 investment I made last summer–when my older daughter asked me ”What else are we doing today?”

“This is it.  This is all I have planned, ” I replied as I watched the clouds dancing across the sky, a cool breeze shimmering over the water.

“OK,” she smiled, diving into the water.  And we hung out on the water and the beach, until the kids were ready to head home to start dinner.

This past weekend we amazingly had our second free consecutive Sunday.  After an early morning grocery run, we spent the day not filing or shopping or cleaning but going on a long bike ride with a picnic, as I wrote about yesterday. 

When given the freedom of an empty calendar, don’t always feel the need to fill it in.  Explore your local area, have a picnic with friends, take your kids shopping, lay in the hammock, work in your gardern, go to the movies, play a game, visit somewhere you have never been or somewhere familiar that you have not seen in awhile.  Do not let the lack of ink on that day scare you-as I think it does some-but embrace your free time.  

I find that the more days we have carved a singular activity out of an ink-free day, the more we crave it.  As our family has become closer and more content this summer, I hope can extend this Slowness into the school year. C

 

A Family Bike Ride

The Des Plaines River trail in the Lake County Forest Preserves was bustling on a stellar Sunday afternoon as we biked along the trail.  I believe that people are doing “staycations” (what a horrid word, linguistically!); I have never seen the trail so crowded.  It was wonderful to see so many shapes, sizes and contingents of groups along the way-babies in bike seats, the tag-along toddler seat, families, serious bikers-in-training, individuals, friends, hikers, dogs and their owners. 

 We were a group of 9, not one complaint during the 10 mile ride, the 8 and 9 year-old boys keeping up with the adults with no problem. I enjoy the combination of riding along the shaded river bank, clack-clack up-and-over on the bridges, then swooping under the busy roads, finally a long, lovely stretch bordered with river on one side and acres of wildflowers on the other. 

We reached our destination of Independence Grove, curving around the path to view the two man-made lakes from above.  I think it is the gem of the forest preserve, inviting and encouraging young and old to try something new.  While too busy on a weekend for the serious trainer, it is a beautifully laid out space where people can bike-walk-skate-skateboard around the lakes, rent boats, play on the newly constructed playground, swim, fish, take photos, play volleyball-baseball-soccer, fly a kite, have a picnic, take a nap, watch the bubbly clouds float across the sky.   

As my friend Kerry said, “Maybe there is hope for world peace.  Look at all the different people smiling and having fun.”  I think it would take many hours there before the kids give their “I’m bored” lament, and if you cannot find something you like to do here….there must be something wrong with your psyche.

Our kids ran on the playground after we ate our lunch, while we relaxed and chatted.  They then fed the seemingly 50-lb carp before we rode around the lakes to start our ride home. The girls decided we HAD to stop at Dairy Queen on our ride home, a remnant memory for the many times we did that when they were younger.  It was a welcome treat, after a gorgeous day spent outside, bickering and electronics absent.

What a relaxing way to spend one of the final summer Sundays before school and soccer games kick into gear.  I am already planning where we bike next weekend, should this amazing weather prevail. Slowing down and letting the trail lead us where it may, a welcome respite for all. C

 

A Celebration Deserved

As the speaker thanked his family, friends, priests and others in attendence for all they had done for him–while we were there to celebrate his 25 years service as a deacon in the Catholic Church– there was a building applause, a standing ovation, and the deacon finally left the podium wiping his eyes.

Since this parish is about 420 miles from my own, I know only his loving, close-knit, Irish family, having attended college with 3 of the 6 children. I glanced around the church, knowing that there were many others whom Ed had helped through baptism or marriage or death or difficult times during his tenure as deacon. 

I think that many people go through their lives wanting to be Famous or Popular or Rich (such generic terms). But famous for what? popular with whom? I watched people in the church and at the crowded reception and realized that our legacy comes from our actions and words with others, not from what we dream it to be.  A famous wizard said to a scarecrow who wanted a heart that to be loved is not by how much we love but by how much others love us. So true. 

Ed is certainly Famous and Popular in his circle of friends, colleagues, and parishioners that were present this weekend.  His funny jokes and helpful words spread beyond those he deals with, as those he touches pass-along his kindness.  He is truly Rich in family and spirit, surounded by many who love him.  His  Beliefs and Actions drive him, and it is through our behaviors and Presence  that we will be remembered and positively (or negatively) impact others.

Congratulations Ed on 25 years of service.  If we can all try to mimic a small amount of your altruism, our own small world would be more kind gentle place to live in.  C

 

The Zoo Conundrum

To zoo or not to zoo?  We went to the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago last weekend, on a gorgeous spring day.  What an fabulous location, this free oasis in the city next to the glorious blue Lake Michicagn and Lincoln Park, teeming with people.  It’s amazing to me that this place is free to all who come.

We had been there before for a Gin Blossoms summer concert (which aren’t free), but our kids haven’t wandered the grounds for several years.  On a perfect summer night, I can’t think of a more fun place to hear live music.

While I have an extremely hard time seeing animals living in their spaces, I know there are advantages to having them live in captivity.  Man is destroying their habitats, poaching, and encroaching upon their lands, so the zoo can be their place to their species to breed and survive for now.  Zoos are used for research to learn more about the myriads of animals in our world as we find ways to re-introduce species into the wild.

I also know my kids seeing the elegant giraffe, playful sea lions, and hissing cockroaches in person will give them a much better appreciation of the animals that live no where near us–so they might take better care of the world around them. My daughters had recently had a fennec fox come to their school, so they were able to tell me about this adorable creature.  We certainly don’t have the funds to travel the world to see all these animals in person.

There were some new an improved exhibits at the zoo since we had last been there.  The ape house now gives the animals much more room to play, and we we very impressed with the new African rainforest house. 

However, as I watched the gorillas swing from bamboo-loooking poles, I could not help but think of Charelton Heston in Planet of the Apes on display in a cage.  I tried to suppress that idea and enjoy the moment.

I must say that all the kids loved the day at the zoo, learned a little more about our world near and far, and truly enjoyed seeing the animals in person.  The polar bears were certainly good for a laugh, and the rhinos gave an educational display as they engaged in a little “afternoon delight”, oblivious to the onlookers. Turn off your video cameras, fools! 

It’s been awhile since I have written. Feels great to be back. C