This weekend I was fortunate to spend time with two incredible groups of friends. After two evenings of celebration, laughter, dancing, a few tears, discussing family old and young, life-changes, film, books, and a rainbow of other topics, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my friendships.
I think that for many women—myself included—our friends are the cement we need to hold our lives together, to fill in the empty spaces, to help us when life challenges us, to send us a text or call that makes us smile, to rejuvenate us, to make a meal, to carpool, to walk with, to hold our hands and say nothing, to hope.
We all have friends who have faded away, as we move into different phases of life. Memories and photos with those friends may make us wistful for the lost connections, but we can remember those times with fondness. We can hug and laugh when we run into these former friends, in person or online.
But, an unexpected, angry break with a friend can cause a popping crack in our foundation. A purposeful, seemingly hateful act can be visceral so long after it’s initial impact, it is heartbreaking. Whether we are 15, 25, 45, or 65 a long-time friend can use words and actions against us, steal our boyfriends/husbands/other girlfriends, backstab, ignore, lie, forget.
What will be your legacy of friendship? I hope that I will be the friend who can comfort you, support you when you are hurt, angry, sad. I hope that I can make you laugh today. I hope that I never intentionally harm a friend to hurt their psyche, their smiling eyes, their heart. I hope that I listen carefully, keep your secrets. I hope that if we are close enough we can be honest with the stories in our hearts and to tell each other if there is spinach in our teeth.
There are so many clichés about friendship, but I truly believe that we should be the friends we hope to have. And pass these lessons to our girls, so they may surround themselves with inspirational, trustworthy, loving friends who can make them laugh, watch them cry. For without my circles of friends, my life would be barren.